Jackson is 41, and right now there are different priorities.Ī Strange Loop’s Usher is in his 20s, and like many a baby-faced NYU graduate is haunted by self-doubt and self-hatred (literally - the rest of the cast is comprised of six “Thoughts,” all nagging voices in Usher’s head that represent everything from “Sexual Ambivalence” to “Daily Self-Loathing”), trapped between his homophobic family whose only understanding of what he could or should be doing was what Tyler Perry does, and a “white gaytriarchy” that he feels both sexually enthralled and belittled by. But he has his excuses: He got ghosted shortly before the pandemic, and a tarot-card reader in Florida recently told him he shouldn’t get laid until June. Add to that: He’s a fabulously talented and successful gay living in New York and working in what has to be one of its highest-gay-headcount industries, the musical (this particular musical attracted quite a few A-list producers, including RuPaul, Billy Porter, Jennifer Hudson, and Mindy Kaling). “You’re a young gay living in the big city!” Usher’s doctor scolds (when he admits, shyly, “I average one penetration a year”), which is essentially what I tell Jackson myself. A Strange Loop, which won the 2020 Pulitzer Prize for Drama - “I was surprised that they made the right choice,” Jackson says - opens with the promise that “There will be butt-fucking!” And its young, fat, queer, Black theater-queen aspiring-playwright protagonist, Usher (yes, he works as an usher), who’s writing a musical (yes, called A Strange Loop), certainly wants to have gay sex and feels like something is wrong with him for not having it, but the promised butt-fucking, when it appears, is not something anybody wants. Obviously he’s hoping the ticket buyers for Broadway musicals, who trend white, heterosexual, and in from out of town, are at least … curious. “Where’s the counterculture? Where’s the danger? Where’s the excitement? Like, to say, ‘I’m gay. It’s just a few nights before his “Big Black Queer Ass American Broadway Show,” A Strange Loop, was to open across the street at the Lyceum Theater, and though the musical is maybe the gayest thing I’ve ever seen on Broadway, Jackson has clearly not spent much time lately on the gay nightlife circuit. Jackson asks me, picking at a bowl of unusually orange bang bang shrimp at the nearly deserted Bobby Van’s Steakhouse on 45th Street. “I’ve been having this ongoing debate with myself. Jackson on opening night of A Strange Loop. In a recent poll of more than four thousand UK adults, 57 percent of 18- to 24-year-olds admitted to body-image anxieties, though that number fell to 30 percent for 45- to 54-year-olds and 20 percent for those 55 and over.Michael R. Meanwhile, Josh Bradlow, a spokesperson for the LGBTQ+ equality organization Stonewall, told the newspaper that “stereotypical assumptions and beliefs about masculinity and femininity can be deeply damaging for how anyone-especially LGBT people-see themselves and their bodies.”Īt least these insecurities seem to fall away with age. Speaking to The Guardian in 2019, a spokesperson for the Mental Health Foundation cited research suggesting that “higher body dissatisfaction is associated with poorer quality of life, psychological distress, and risk of unhealthy eating behaviors and eating disorders.” Who among us hasn’t looked in the mirror and wished something was different? But it might be good practice to start accepting the things we can’t change, so to speak, especially since poor body image can be detrimental to our mental health.